Somwhere Between "Losing My Mind" and "Only Slightly Crazy"

Where in the world have I been? Well, those of you who are truly University Mamas and Papas wouldn't be asking that question because you know that my current location is somewhere between "Losing My Mind" and "Only Slightly Crazy." October and the first of November have been, in my experience, the hardest part of the school year (or any part of year, for that matter). On the personal end of things, our family begins to juggle basketball schedules, 4H competitions, holidays, special events at church and in the community, etc. It's like there is a mad dash to cram in a bunch of stuff while the weather is still partially nice and the Thanksgiving/Christmas rush hasn't started. On the school end of things, it always seems like the biggest projects and papers are due during October/November. Add all these things together, and you have a recipe for extreme stress overload.

I kid you not: there were many nights last month that I sat at my computer on the verge of tears and/or a heart attack. Okay...maybe not a heart attack, but perhaps a chest pain or two. You know the feeling where you could hyperventilate if you were the hyperventilating-type? You don't? Oh. Well, that's kind of what it felt like.

In summation, October was miserably stressful.

I quite literally survived by sending myself e-mails and setting alarms on my phone to remind me of things. Everything from orthodontist appointments to "thaw chicken" showed up in my phone and/or inbox.

Thank goodness for technology...and for a family who has stuck with me and chipped in throughout this crazy roller coaster ride. The best news is...the semester's almost done!!!


(P.S. If only I had one of those combo washer/dryers that begins drying a load after it's done with the wash cycle. That, my friends, is what I call harnessing the power of technology for REAL!)

The Homework Excuse

Do you ever find yourself using your student status to get out of obligations or events? I admit--I do it a lot. I'm not being dishonest when I say, "I really need to spend the weekend doing homework/studying," because there's ALWAYS something that I could be working on. However, in theory, it's entirely possible for me to set aside one evening and get all my work done so that I could enjoy a much-needed day off to sleep in, reorganize closets or just hang out with my family. While people may understand (and, indeed, pity) my full schedule, they don't seem as willing to accept a response of "I can't do [fill-in-the-blank] because I just need a day where I don't have anything scheduled." They may say, "Oh, I understand," but their eyes say, "You just don't want to do it." That's why I use the homework excuse like a crutch.

As I write, it is lunchtime on Saturday and I am still in my pajamas. I haven't accomplished much other than eating the great breakfast my hubby prepared and washing one load of clothes. I tried to go back to bed and get a little extra sleep; that didn't work, but I read a chapter of a non-assigned novel instead. Oh--and I made a trip to the grocery. I can think of a long list of things I NEED or COULD be doing, but I don't mind admitting that I need some laid-back days like this to keep my nerves in check.

I'm already beginning to wonder....what will life be like without the homework excuse to fall back on? I've been able to pass out the homework excuse for almost three years now. I think I'm going to miss it. I guess I'm going to have to learn the art of saying "no"--gasp!

Tiny Victories

It occurred to me that I spend too much time on this blog complaining. I tend to use it as a outlet for my frustration and exhaustion because I know many of you out there in blog land are nodding your heads and saying, "Amen, sister! I know exactly how you feel!" Yes, there are a lot of obstacles juggling a family, a full-time job and a (nearly) full-time class load. Yes, it can be overwhelming. Yes, it sometimes feels like full-time failure because so many things get left undone. It's easy for me to feel defeated at the end of the day because it never seems like my "to do" list gets any smaller. But despite what I sometimes feel, I still manage to accomplish some things.

For example, today I:

*mowed the lawn while my hubby was away on business
*had a "heart-to-heart" with The Eldest and dealt out some parental discipline (I feel like she's learned a lesson and it won't happen again)
*helped a teacher find some educational research to help validate a very important program at our school
*washed one load of laundry (hey, it's something)
*helped The Youngest get her pig-sty room cleaned up
*unloaded the dishwasher and started a new load
*cooked dinner (though sadly, it was lacking in any veggies...but it still counts!)
*read "The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks" for 15 minutes (my "pleasure reading" for the day)
*read my daily Bible Study
*exercised for 20 minutes (not including mowing the lawn)
*helped the kids with their homework
*read a bedtime story to The Youngest

Victory!!! Tiny victories, but victories nonetheless. From now on, I'm going to try to keep it all in perspective.

Playing Catch-Up

Weekends are for rest and relaxation, right? Then why am I spending it playing "catch-up?" I'm catching up on homework, catching up on laundry, catching up on quality time with the kids...and I'm STILL not caught up! Maybe I should just accept the fact that I never will be. Motherhood seems to be one of those occupations where there is no "I'm finished!" moment followed by permission to kick up your heels and relax.

Still, I am feeling a bit better now that I started a day without being woken up by an alarm clock. It also feels good that I've somewhat gotten a handle on my homework. I am concerned about a couple of things (one being a group project--only two other people have communicated with me about it, we haven't started anything and it's due next week). I keep thinking that if I can just get through a couple of weeks, I'll begin to get back into the rhythm and flow of things....or at least figure out the homework schedule.

On the upside, I'm SO glad I took my professor's advice and dropped a class before the semester began. First of all, I'd never be able to handle 12 hours of classes and a full-time job (especially since the class was a research class).

Another piece of good news is that the Education class I am taking for my teacher certification does not have assignment due dates; the only rule is that assignments must be completed in corresponding order. Then again, maybe this is bad news. I'd really hate for December to roll around when I'm being blasted with the Christmas holiday rush and suddenly realize that I've put off all of those assignments while trying to stay afloat in my graduate classes!

At any rate, I don't feel guilty hanging out with my kiddos, watching iCarly and painting our toenails tonight. At least I've caught up enough to do that!

The Week in Review

Exciting. Apprehensive. Overwhelming. Invigorating. Structured. Challenging. Exhausting. Fulfilling. Enjoyable. These are just a few words that describe my back-to-work experience this week.

A few people may wonder how a simple position as a library assistant could possibly be invigorating or fulfilling. I can hear it now, "Don't you just shelve and check-out books?" Um...no. There's actually much more to the job than that, but most people think that's all a bonafide librarian does anyway. However, because I am working on my master's degree in the field, I am privy to much more than a typical library assistant would be. I'm so excited to be working under a wonderful librarian who is basically treating the opportunity as a mentorship. We look at budgets and Accelerated Reader testing. We discuss policy and brainstorm on how the library could be rearranged. We are much more of a "team" than a typical librarian/assistant would be.

I have been pretty well exhausted this week, though. First of all, I'm not used to being on my feet all day. This is one aspect of the job that I didn't expect: I rarely get to sit because we are constantly busy and on-the-go all day. That adds to the tired I'm already feeling from trying to get back into a school sleep schedule rather than a "wake up when you want to" summertime schedule. I admit that I'm not doing very well on getting to bed early enough, but I have forced myself out early enough to get a tiny bit of exercise in (this week I need to work on doubling my exercise time).

My freezer meals have been a tremendous help so far. I'm already worried about running out of "goodies" because I either don't have time and/or energy to get to the grocery store after school.

I am a bit anxious about my grad school classes beginning this week. I'm taking nine hours this semester (glad I dropped one class earlier this summer; I could have never handled 12 hours and a new job!). I'm not exactly excited about coming home and getting started on homework when I have plenty of chores to take care of, dinner to cook and when I need to be supervising my children's homework/chores. I'm wondering where I will find the energy? Where will I find the time? The evenings are so short as it is...and we haven't even begun extracurriculars like soccer and piano lessons for the girls, yet. Still, I keep reminding myself that others are in the same boat. They lived and survived; so will I.

Preparing for a New School Year: Meal Planning

Recently, I mentioned that I was trying to make meal-planning a bit simpler. Well, apparently there's nothing like getting a full-time job to put your organizational efforts into hyper-drive! Here's what I've been doing to get prepared for the new school year:

Purse-Sized Meal Planning Grocery/Recipe Cards
Inspired after reading Nannygoat's 30 day meal plan, I downloaded some trendy & stylish recipe cards (here) and filled them out the most commonly eaten meals in our home. On the cards, I also included suggestions for vegetables and side dishes which are often a difficult decision in themselves. Since I made the JPG recipe cards and filled them out using Adobe Photoshop, I decided to send them to my local photolab for printing. I am slipping them into a small 4x6 photo album and will carry them in my purse. Now, when I'm out shopping, I can make sure I don't forget to buy that one pesky ingredient that I always seem to forget!

Once a Month Cooking (or OMAC)
I've heard a lot about Once a Month Cooking over the years. I've always meant to give it a try, but lacked the motivation and/or a free day to devote to cooking. However, the combination of the husband being out of town on Friday-Saturday and my desire to get things together before my first day on the job Monday gave me an opportunity to try it this weekend. The basic premise is that you buy groceries in bulk, spend a day cooking said groceries, package for freezing and enjoy your bounty of prepared meals out of the freezer for days to come. Many people actually try to make enough meals for an entire month, but I decided just to cook as much as I could and call it "good."

The most important part of this OMAC thing is the menu planning/grocery list stage. I spent many hours on the internet looking up recipes and tips for freezing. I found most of my recipes at recipezaar.com where you can search "OMAC" or "make ahead" and find loads of recipes. Some people plan their meals based on which meats are on sale, but I simply chose things my family would actually eat. Then, I made out a huge grocery list and divided it by the sections in our grocery store (fresh, cold, frozen, canned) to help find things quickly and easily. I was dreading the trip to the store. In my mind, I imagined that it would take hours on end to find everything. However, since I went at the end of a long day of back-to-school shopping and I was ready to get home, I simply stuck to my list and got out rather quickly. I was also dreading the final tally on the check-out receipt, but it was actually just bit over what a typical excursion to the grocery costs. (Another reason why people like OMAC: it prevents waste and saves money in the end.)

Saturday was cooking day, and--I'll be honest--it was a long one. I started cooking at 8 a.m. and finished at 4 p.m. I'm sure I could have been a bit better with my cooking organization and saved time, but my "method" was to look around and ask, "What needs to be cooked next?" I also had two little kitchen elves who were a great help (and it felt good to be teaching them some cooking skills). I had to overcome my desire to constantly clean up and, instead, waited until the end of the day to clean up just once (though I did wash some dishes along the way). I used all my resources including my trusty crock pot and my bread maker. Here's what I ended up with at the end of the day (links provided to the recipes I used):

*Meat for tacos/spaghetti
*1 Chicken & Rice Casserole
*10 Breakfast Burritos (will do more after we see how they taste post-freezer)
*Shredded chicken (to use in casseroles or soups)
*6 Calzones (using this bread maker dough recipe)
*Pulled Pork for sandwiches (frozen in individual servings for lunches)
*Chicken Relleno (a new recipe, but quite tasty)
*6 Hamburger Steaks
*2 packages of homemade chicken broth (left from cooking chicken)
*10 slices of breakfast sausage (ready to be microwaved for a quick meal)
*Chocolate Chip Zucchini Bread (thanks to my parent's overflowing garden--we made muffins instead of loaves)
*Fried Rice with Chicken (actually, I have the rice ready but I need to finish this meal today)
*2 packages of brown rice to be used as a side

I also froze pork chops and a roast beef that can be thawed and thrown into the crock pot. And, while I was at it, I decided to try my hand at Sticky Roast Chicken which I prepared and will be cooking for lunch today.

Yes, it was a long day, but I feel a little more under control and relieved knowing that, if all else fails, there is something in the freezer to eat!

Big Changes Ahead

First, I had to make the transition from "Mama" to "University Mama." Then, I had to get used to commuting three times a week rather than twice a week. Then, I had to figure out how handle summertime and summer school. After that, I had to get into "life-after-college" mode when I finished my undergraduate studies, and quickly transitioned into accepting "life-in-graduate-school." Then, there were the three weeks where I had to remember how to live in a dorm and eat in a college cafeteria. Yep, I'd say I've had to make plenty of changes and adjustments over the past three years....but none as big as this one.

After 11 years of being primarily a SAHM (stay at home mom), I'm going back to work full-time!

I was excited to learn that I'd been hired as a library aid at our school. This is excellent on-the-job training for me (not to mention that I'm now getting paid for practicum hours I needed to fulfill anyway). A great resume booster and I'll be working with a top-notch librarian. For someone in my position who is studying to be a librarian, you really couldn't ask for more.

While my photography business has kept me busy, I've never had a steady work routine. I've always had the freedom to schedule doctor's appointments or hair cuts during the day. I've never had to fight the crowds at the grocery store when the hungry masses are just getting off work. I've always been able to leave town for anything from funerals to visits to old friends without major scheduling issues, even while a student at the university. I realize that those days are over to some extent, and that I will have to make significant changes in the way I do things.

I guess a part of me is a little sad to see the SAHM part of my life pass by. It was good while it lasted, but my girls aren't so little anymore. Our plan was for me to stay home until our youngest went to kindergarten. I did, and now it's time for the next step in life. To be honest, I do perform better when I'm adhering to a fixed, regular schedule.

Then, there's the part of me who is nervous about juggling graduate studies with a full-time job. I've always felt sorry for my classmates, most of whom are full-time teachers trying to get homework done while finishing their lesson plans, too. Still, I should be grateful that as an aid, I will not have such a significant work-load. I don't even have to be at school on teacher in-service days or anything.

There are so many questions and ideas and plans rolling around in my head these days, I can hardly sleep. Monday--my first day on the job--will be here soon. I feel like there's so much to do to get ready!

All Quiet on the Homefront

Back in June, I didn't think it would be possible to totally forget about school, but I'm proud to say that I have successfully managed to do so in July! The first few weeks of July were insanely busy with work, community and church projects and/or travels. Last week, we packed our bags and headed to the beach for our annual family vacation on the Gulf of Mexico. It was wonderful. As I laid on the sandy beach in the warm sunshine and listened to the waves crashing on the shore as my kids and husband giggled having fun in the background I realized something: I was RELAXED. I wasn't worried about anything. I read a stack of books just because I wanted to not because I had to for a class. I had no idea what time it was, and I didn't care. I wasn't even thinking about anything in particular, I was just enjoying myself and the simple pleasures of life. Times like those are so rare in my busy life. I wish there were more, but I understand that the rarity of those moments is also what makes them so valuable and treasured.

There are only a few weeks--maybe three?--until class begins again. I've tried to clear my work schedule so that I can get a few household organization and cleaning chores completed before the school year begins. Today, I'm trying to organize an easier way for menu planning and grocery shopping (something that I hate to do and always seems to suck away my time). I'm currently reading about Nannygoat's 30 Meals Plan and also checking out new recipes at $5 Dinners. My biggest obstacle is finding recipes that coordinate with our family's lifestyle eating (lower carbs, no refined or processed foods, lots of veggies, etc.). Any of you non-traditional college students have any recommendations on menu planning, healthy eating and/or simplifying grocery shopping?

My To-Do List

1. Finish proofing almost 200 engagement & bridal photos
2. Create blog post for engagement photos sneak peek
3. Get oil changed and tires checked in the car that will be making the four hour drive to campus this weekend
4. Go to the dreaded Wal-Mart to purchase snacks and supplies for the kiddos and myself for our travels next week
5. Get caught up on "regular" laundry before husband and daughter return from youth camp with mounds of dirty clothes
6. Finish reading the book club selection, "Copper Sun" by Sharon Draper so I can return the book before leaving Sunday
7. Figure out what I'll need for three weeks in a dorm (maybe it would be easier to decide what to leave at home!) and pack it
8. Pack my two children who will be visiting friends and my sister in Texas and attending day camp next week
9. Buy a few groceries for the hubby so he won't starve (or eat out)
10. Exercise (I missed the last two days because of our busy schedules)
11. Create "gag gift" for a friend's birthday as payback for a Christmas stunt
12. Make a notebook for the babysitter with all the do's, don'ts and "where to find it" information
13. Fill out day camp enrollment forms, make out checks for said camp and copy insurance cards
14. Clean out vehicle
15. Put away all photography gear from this week's sessions
16. Make a deposit at the bank (10 miles away)
17. Get a pedicure!!! (I promised little daughter we'd have a "girl party" while Daddy & big sis was away)
18. Clean house (the chore that never leaves my to-do list, so it seems)
19. Water garden
20. Breathe

To Panic or Not to Panic....That Is the Question

A week from today, I will be loading my car and driving four hours away to stay in campus housing for three weeks without my family in order to complete a significant portion of my master's degree studies.

Part of me wants to panic. Okay, the biggest part of me wants to panic because I keep thinking:

• I'm stressed about all the things I meant to get done before I left (that I haven't).
• I'm sad about all the things I will be missing while I am gone.
• I'm nervous for my husband and the babysitter whose task it is to keep my six-year-old entertained (she announced that she was already bored by 10 a.m. the day after school let out).
• I'm worried about making it through eight hour class days without getting a migraine.
• I'm wondering how well I will get along with my classmates. Will I be the odd man out because I am not a certified teacher nor have I ever taught?
• Will the cafeteria food be bearable? I have valid fears: I lived on this particular campus the year before I married, and the smells from the cafeteria made me nauseous as I passed by each day. I still claim it was the worst food in the history of university cafeterias! Even the salad and cereal was unsuitable to eat, in my opinion. No joke! I lost so much weight that year....

On the upside, there are several things to look forward to in this experience:

• I get to meet new people and (hopefully) make some new friends. If not, it will be a great exercise in networking.
• I will have completed nine hours of courses in three weeks. There is no other way I'd be able to graduate in a year's time if not for this intense session.
• I won't have to cook any meals and I will only be responsible for dressing myself, cleaning my tiny dorm room and keeping my small stash of laundry clean. What a load off!
• Evenings should be free for reading a good book or working out at the really nice Wellness Center (they are even having Zumba classes!) or taking a walk around the track just like I used to do in the "good ol' days."
• I don't have to be in class until 9 a.m. which means I can sleep in if I want!
• If the cafeteria food is bad, maybe I will drop those last few pesky pounds before we head to the beach for vacation!! :)
• It's free! All of this is free even down to the textbooks and meal plans. Whoo-hoo!

I decided that instead of looking at it as being gone for three straight weeks, I'd take it one week at a time. I will only be gone five nights before I can come home for a short weekend. That's not bad. I'm pretty sure the week will pass much more quickly than I anticipate. Between Zumba and working on my portfolio...well, you know what they say: "time flies when you're having fun." ;)

Graduation Day: The Recap in Photos

Rushing to the stadium after finding a replacement tassel

My wonderful, supportive family

My girls--I hope they know better understand the value of education, follow-through and keeping their promises

The cold & windy ceremony

My friends and family who are drinking hot chocolate in the warmth of a gas station while I'm still shivering in a stadium, waiting on the ceremony to wrap up

My best friend & her son who surprised me by coming up for the weekend

Getting Off the Hamster Wheel

Here we are at the end of another productive yet absolutely CRAZED semester.

Last week, my husband and I took a cruise to celebrate our 10th anniversary (it was two years ago--we're a little late) & the completion of my undergraduate degree. I left my cell phone at home and only checked e-mail once a day for five minutes in order to send a message to my kids back home. While I was on the trip, I enjoyed laying in the sun and reading (for leisure!), listening to music or napping. I enjoyed long, three-course meals and sharing interesting conversation with strangers. I enjoyed walking around a small Mexican village, watching the locals who obviously had fewer possessions and money but seemed equally (or more!) happy with life.

However, it wasn't until I got home that I realized how truly unburdened I had been on that trip. When I am at home, I feel compelled to check e-mail and Facebook twenty or more times a day. Many days, I don't enjoy the sunshine or feel the breeze because I am sitting behind a computer all day. When I am at home, my cell phone is in my possession almost 24 hours a day and I feel compelled to answer it each and every time it rings. When I am at home, I live and die by a calendar--never are there unstructured days for "wandering"--and taking a nap would just lead to guilt that time would have been better spent doing something besides sleeping.

Even worse, every time I travel, especially outside of the United States, I come home so frustrated by the things that occupy our time and thoughts....the things that we fuss and fight over/for...the things that we consider most important. Those things, for the most part, are utter ridiculousness. In the grand scheme of life, they are foolish things that don't really matter.

I am certain that life is for more than a busy calendar. I'm sure that I'm supposed to have enough quiet, unhurried time in a day to have thoughts or rest or simple pleasures. I know for a fact that I shouldn't feel like a hamster in a wheel.

I have decided that something needs to change in my life and I'm trying to figure out the best way to clear out the clutter and simplify my life somewhat. Waiting for the "next semester" or the "next stage of life" obviously doesn't work--getting to the next stage means things are just different, not less busy in my experience.

Right now, the best bet for simplification seems to be to shut down my photography business. My business is definitely "small" in all aspects of the word, but it can be very time consuming nevertheless. Though I have been mulling it over for a week (actually, I mull it over every year, it seems), I am still hesitant to do away with it completely for several reasons:

a) it provides income
b) people respect and enjoy the work I do
c) other than motherhood, I have held this position longer than any other job
d) it gives me a sense of pride and accomplishment

This business has been my baby, my brainchild, my sweat and tears. Even though my hectic lifestyle prevents me from enjoying the work like I once did, it is difficult to say the words, "I'm done."

Also, there is the money matter. I am preparing to enter the teaching world. Education, as we all know, is not a particularly lucrative field. In fact, right now it takes me a month of substitute teaching (averaging twice or three times a week) to make similar take-home pay as one photography session. Now, before you start to think that photographers are making a killing and robbing you blind, let me tell you about one major difference. In education, I walk away at the end of the day with no further obligations (well, more-so than some professions--no job is 100% this way). With photography, the time committed for a photo session is just the beginning. I spend much, much more time editing, cropping, posting to the web, fulfilling orders, etc. Do you know what that means? There is no separation between home and work for me. Between my university classes, substitute teaching, hauling kids to ballgames, church obligations and the like, I crave time at home to be just that: time at home and nothing else. Besides, money isn't everything.

All this to say, I think I am on the verge of making a very important decision. It both relieves me and scares me, but something must be done. You know something is not right when you find yourself envying simple life of the Mexican senorita who sits on the sidewalk mashing masa and selling tortillas from an egg crate!

Stop the Clock!

Time is a mystery to me. When I was commuting to school three times a week this spring, I felt like there was never enough time to get things done...yet, I still managed to work, minimally keep up with housework and shuttle my kids to their activities. So far this semester, I only go to class once a week (and not even weekly, at that) and I am working less than usual. In fact, I have not actively been booking photo sessions at all lately. Yet, I feel even MORE pressed for time. I can't figure this out. Surely I don't have more assignments than I did when I was taking 18 undergrad hours. Maybe my classwork is more time intensive? Whatever it is, I sometimes wish I could stop the clock for a few hours to play catch-up. Whenever things get rushed and crazy, I find it even harder to concentrate. I find myself hopping from one activity to another without wrapping up the first (that is why I am blogging in my sweaty work-out clothes rather than taking a shower).

But the fact is, time marches on and so must I...

You Can't Have it All (Or Things That Have Suffered Since I Returned to College)

Hate to break it to you people, but you can't have it all despite what they tell you. Sure, I have a family, a job and attend college full-time, but there are plenty of things that have suffered along the way.


Diet & Exercise

Throughout most of the year, I have done really well turning my eating and exercise habits around, but the past two months have really taken a toll on them. There never seems to be enough hours in a day, so exercise is the easiest thing to skip on my "to-do" list. Eating well has also gone on the backburner because it takes so long to plan ahead and prepare healthy, balanced meals (keeping fresh items in stock when you live in the country can be pretty challenging). Somehow, I've managed to maintain (even lose!) weight this semester, but I don't feel as healthy or strong. I have a feeling that I'm losing the muscle mass that I worked hard to build and my skin just doesn't look as healthy. I'm not eating well and I'm not drinking enough water. Since I'm in class through lunch, I usually have a fountain drink and a package of carbs or nuts on the way home as my pitiful meal replacement. I used to pack a sandwich lunch and apple, but I can't even manage to get that together each morning. I'm not eating a hearty breakfast anymore (though I never skip breakfast entirely) and my family's dinner is, more often than I'd like to admit, just thrown together at the last minute. I'm frustrated with myself and my inability to get out of bed at 6 a.m. to exercise, but late nights and long days have weakened my will power.

Laundry

The universal thorn in a woman's side: laundry. It seems like when I finally get to the bottom of my laundry pile, it only takes a day or two before it is out of control again. Why is that? It's so annoying! I've tried doing XX loads per day or doing a marathon laundry session, but inevitably, it gets the best of me. I have encouraged my husband to get a "spare" wife whose sole duty would be to tend to our laundry, but he doesn't seem too interested.

Parenting

I'm honest enough to admit it--my parenting skills have not been as stellar as I'd like them to be. I've denied my kids' requests to help with knitting projects or postponed storytelling time on occasion. They often get in bed later than I want (I'm talking 9:30 instead of 9, but still...). I can't seem to get them to the hairdresser often enough. I sometimes forget to check their homework folders until it is almost too late (because I use the time they spend outside playing with the neighbor kids to do homework). So, okay...I'm not a terrible parent or anything, but I am getting a little sloppier than I'd like on the Mama end.

Entertainment

I find that there is SO much going on in my life, it is hard to just "chill" because there is always something I could be doing. It's been a while since I've watched an entire movie or read a book (for recreation) because those things are pretty time-intensive. I do have one saving grace: the DVR. Husband and I usually record our favorite sitcoms and watch one or two before bedtime most evenings. Even when I could be working, I try to take a sitcom break with the husband because a little something is better than nothing.

Relationships
I used to be the kind of girl that remembered everyone's birthday, wrote letters to grandparents and shared photos of my kids with friends. These days, my family blog has been neglected for months in lieu of homework, I rarely remember a birthday (until its too late) and my grandparents get their updates on the family through the grapevine. I really hate these changes and I'm hoping that this too shall pass when I no longer have class projects or crazy commutes.

To give credit where credit is definitely due, my husband has been a real champ throughout this university journey. He has filled in the gaps during my inadequacies from laundry to housework to reading with the kids, and he even understands (and sometimes encourages) eating out when my plate is full. (No pun intended.)

If you are contemplating returning to school as a non-traditional college student, you should definitely consider who could be the "gap filler" in your life. You may have plenty of cheerleaders, but "gap fillers" are what you really need to be successful both in the classroom and in life.

Life Lessons: The Classroom in Action

Everyone in the United States and throughout much of the world knows that today is a special day: Election Day.

I can recall many of the lessons on Democracy that I had been taught as a child from the fabled tales of George Washington cutting down his father's cherry tree to the more serious matters of civic responsibility and service. I vividly remember my American Government professor (who slightly resembled a Viking in my mind) who with all the passion and gusto he could muster, plead with our 18-year-old college selves to get involved in the political process, even encouraging us to save our pennies and buy an expensive meal at a political fundraising gala so our voices could be heard. I remember how, during times of trouble (war, terrorism or natural devastation), Americans rallied together for the common good. All of these things factor into the importance I place on voting and being a part of the democratic political process.

Sometimes, as a parent, it's hard to remember how much influence you have on your child's life. I began to think about how much I had talked with my kids about political matters, and I was pretty surprised to realize how little we had discussed it.

I decided to change that.

A month or so ago, I decided that I was going to get up early on Election Day and take my kids to the polls with me. Since that time, we've discussed how often people get to vote, voting restrictions/age limits, why I will/won't vote for a certain candidate, the difference between state and national government, etc. None of these conversations were in depth, mind you; they were just kid-sized nuggets of information.

This morning, my kids got to see how voters check in, what a ballot looks like, how to fill out a ballot and how ballots are cast for a final vote. The only effort on my part: getting out the door a few minutes early and letting them watch over my shoulder. There's just some things that can't be taught in a classroom.

I feel like I have completed my civic duty for today, both as an American and as a parent.

A Good End to a Bad Month

October was a terrible month. It was a want-to-pull-my-hair-out-slightly-overwhelmed-and/or-exhausted kind of month. Translation: "I've never been so happy to see November!"

No matter how crappy the month may have been, I've got to admit that it ended--and November started--on a good note due to the following:

*Professor and I figured out an alternative route for the guided study classes that I am taking (the extremely time-consuming ones that I feared I would never complete).

*I came home to a SPOTLESS house that my husband had graciously cleaned on his day off. Walking into a clean home always melts the stress away. I was able to let go of all those nagging "undones" (well, all except the nagging laundry "undones").

*My sister came to visit.

*I enjoyed the yearly hayride/trick-or-treating with a trailer bed full of friends from our small town...and we were able to leave our coats and hot chocolate at home this year!

*My best friend and her son drove up from Texas like a stealth bomber and made a totally surprise visit (in coordination with my sis and hubby). It was like having a surprise birthday party except without the "growing older" part (yes, she even brought dessert!).

*Said friends and family members helped me eat all of the children's Halloween chocolate quickly so I wouldn't be tempted by it for a week. I know...it's a tough job but somebody's gotta do it! Don't worry--we left plenty of Starburst and Skittles for the kids; I'm not tempted by that at all. (lol!)

*I went to see High School Muscial 3 at the theatre with the kiddos. I'm not gonna lie: I'm a fan. It was cute.

*I went for a drive in the country and enjoyed the beautiful autumn leaves.

*I relaxed.

*I got an extra hour of sleep thanks to Daylight Saving Time.

Moral of the story: there's never anything so bad that a little time with friends, family or a pillow can't improve.

So, bring it on, November...I'm ready for you.

Mama Guilt

Today is Halloween and I'm in class today. My youngest daughter wasn't very happy that I wouldn't be able to attend her party at school. We did have the conversation about how lucky we have been that I have been able to attend almost (if not all) of her school functions since there are many mommies who can't because of their work schedules. Still, she still whined, "Can Daddy come to my party?" Thankfully, Daddy is stepping up to the plate (as he always does) and making baby girl happy, but that leaves me here, dealing with mama guilt. I know my kids will have to deal with disappointment in life and I know that I can't be all things to all people all the time, but the realization of these facts does not lessen the feelings of guilt.

I seriously considered skipping class today. What is more important: reviewing notes on communication theory or being a part of an event that is the highlight of my kid's month? My professor won't give me a big smile and hug when I walk into her classroom, but I would get that in my daughter's kindergarten class.

In the end, responsibility brought me to campus (I had my broadcast team's video and they wouldn't be able to work without it), but the whole shenanigan reminded me that freelancing after graduation might be the right path after all.

Extending Fall Break

Somehow, my two day fall break has turned into an entire week off. It all started when one of my two professors told us that he wouldn't be here this week. I hated the idea of driving to class for half of my classes, but I didn't think I had any other options. After the weekend passed, I had so many things to do/people to see that I decided to take Monday off. My initial plan was to be in class on Wednesday and possibly even drive up on Tuesday to get some things done. Then I discovered that my kids were out of school on Wednesday for their fall break and their Daddy was busy at work, so I had to stay home with them. And I didn't bother to go to school on Tuesday, either. So, in the end, I will have had a week off from school.

I gotta say, it's been really nice. I'm getting caught up at work, I didn't even bother turning on my alarm clock this morning since the kids didn't have to get up for school and I've had time to go on extended lunches with old friends. When I was in the working world, I used to call time off like this "mental health days"--you know, calling in sick when you don't really have a physical illness per se, but just need some time to recoup and rest. They worked then and they are working now!

TGIF

I'm truly thankful that it's Friday and even more thankful that next week is Fall Break! It was especially hard to drag myself out of bed this morning. Yesterday, my family drove to our state's largest metro area (okay, so there are only two really official "metros" in our state...). We were attending the state fastpitch softball tournament that our school was a part of, and we went a little early to get some much needed fall shopping out of the way. It was a productive and fun trip, but it couldn't have come at a more difficult time for me. I loaded my laptop (TGFL--thank goodness for laptops!), my index cards, a pile of research I had printed off and a textbook into our already full SUV. On the drive up, I studied for a test. It was a very technical-oriented test, so it was difficult to focus between the blare of sports-talk radio, the whining from the backseat ("Are we there yet?") and the motion sickness (not to mention that I have almost zero interest in this particular subject). Luckily--or not so luckily, I'm not sure which--the ballgames were actually running almost two hours behind. While my family was sitting in bleachers with the rest of our small community, I was crammed into the passenger's seat of our vehicle with a laptop and papers scattered throughout finishing a rough draft of my research paper which was also due this morning.

We ended up getting home and in bed somewhere around 1 a.m. I reluctantly set my alarm knowing that I would have to get up early enough to get two children bathed and make sure the oldest finished her homework (she claimed motion sickness prevented her from travel study, too). I was also stressed about the amount of housework that I needed to complete especially considering that I have family visiting this weekend and visitors throughout the next week (immediately followed by out-of-state travel during fall break). Plus, it is busy season for me at work and I have lots of catching up to do.

I seriously contemplated skipping my first class (Fridays are slim class days anyway), but I didn't think I could really get much marked off of my to-do list in an hour and I really needed to be in my other classes. I did, however, arrive late only to find out later that the professor didn't even take roll (I could have missed class!!!).

Ugh--frustration and regret.

On the upside, I managed to make it through the day without falling asleep in class or at the wheel (I credit some of that to my friend, Red Bull energy drink), and now I'm off to finish my housework. And cook supper. And get started on my photography backlog.

Early Birds

I've never been a morning person.

Never.

So, you'll understand why I think it's quite an accomplishment when I say that I crawled out of bed at 5:50 a.m. this morning, exercised for 40 minutes, warmed up breakfast (because I put on my Holly Homemaker apron last night and whipped up some blueberry muffins from scratch, thank-you-very-much), showered, dressed, managed the dressing/hair-fixing of two more females in the house, dropped them off at school and still got to school on time.

I do realize that plenty of grown-ups actually get up before dawn each day and this is nothing new in the world of the average adult, but as Mr. T would say, "I pity the fool." It's been a great perk of being a stay-at-home mom for ten years.

The thing is, as badly as I hate to hear the alarm go off before sunrise and as badly as I hate to roll out of bed and exercise before my eyes have even adjusted to the glare of the t.v. set, it actually has made my days much more productive: I get my exercise out of the way for the day, I get to shower and dress in peace before the kids arise, and if I'm lucky I might even get a few extra chores done before the madness of the day begins. Yep, it's working out pretty well for me (I just wish I could somehow figure out how to give up staying up until midnight).

I guess they were right: the early bird does get the worm...or at least a few extra minutes to eat her worm in peace.