My Brain Feels Like Scrambled Eggs.

Let's see if I can make a cohesive sentence or two....

Have you ever felt like your brain is just a glob of scrambled eggs? Have you ever really tried to concentrate on something but felt like you were wading through a fog? Have you ever read one passage over and over in circles...and gotten nowhere?

This is how I've felt for the past few days. Actually, my days have been starting off fairly well. I'm not even complaining about the wee hours of the morning that I must get out of bed. But somewhere after 2 p.m., my thoughts become a little less defined. I think it's partly a drop in blood sugar, partly my body's realization that I need a nap and partly the thought of going home to tackle homework and grad school classes.

Since classes began last week, I have met my fair share of confusion and frustration. While I am truly thankful for web-based classes, they are the most frustrating thing in the world if you have a professor who is not on top of his/her game. You have to be VERY structured and VERY prepared if you are going to teach a web class. That, sadly, is not always the case. So, I have been dealing with the typical start-of-the-semester chaos AND trying to figure out, "Exactly what do you want me to do?" The latter has been made extremely difficult in some cases (in one class, we were given last year's syllabus...with last year's assignment deadline dates on them!). To make matters worse, some of my best study buddies that I meet at summer school have been moved into other class sections. (We are crying, "Conspiracy!"--lol!). I'm so thankful that I am not a first year student in this grad program or I would be lost. Sadly, I kind of know how things operate, so I just roll my eyes and keep on trudging through.

Meanwhile, I'm thinking of instituting a daily toast regimen to complement my scrambled egg brains. :)

The Week in Review

Exciting. Apprehensive. Overwhelming. Invigorating. Structured. Challenging. Exhausting. Fulfilling. Enjoyable. These are just a few words that describe my back-to-work experience this week.

A few people may wonder how a simple position as a library assistant could possibly be invigorating or fulfilling. I can hear it now, "Don't you just shelve and check-out books?" Um...no. There's actually much more to the job than that, but most people think that's all a bonafide librarian does anyway. However, because I am working on my master's degree in the field, I am privy to much more than a typical library assistant would be. I'm so excited to be working under a wonderful librarian who is basically treating the opportunity as a mentorship. We look at budgets and Accelerated Reader testing. We discuss policy and brainstorm on how the library could be rearranged. We are much more of a "team" than a typical librarian/assistant would be.

I have been pretty well exhausted this week, though. First of all, I'm not used to being on my feet all day. This is one aspect of the job that I didn't expect: I rarely get to sit because we are constantly busy and on-the-go all day. That adds to the tired I'm already feeling from trying to get back into a school sleep schedule rather than a "wake up when you want to" summertime schedule. I admit that I'm not doing very well on getting to bed early enough, but I have forced myself out early enough to get a tiny bit of exercise in (this week I need to work on doubling my exercise time).

My freezer meals have been a tremendous help so far. I'm already worried about running out of "goodies" because I either don't have time and/or energy to get to the grocery store after school.

I am a bit anxious about my grad school classes beginning this week. I'm taking nine hours this semester (glad I dropped one class earlier this summer; I could have never handled 12 hours and a new job!). I'm not exactly excited about coming home and getting started on homework when I have plenty of chores to take care of, dinner to cook and when I need to be supervising my children's homework/chores. I'm wondering where I will find the energy? Where will I find the time? The evenings are so short as it is...and we haven't even begun extracurriculars like soccer and piano lessons for the girls, yet. Still, I keep reminding myself that others are in the same boat. They lived and survived; so will I.

The (Last?) First Day of School

Could today have been my last "first day" of school? Considering that I've already been looking into graduate school and/or teaching certificates, I'm going to go out on a limb and say "probably not," but you never know...

It was a really long day for me. I'm in class from 9-2 without a break and four of those hours are in the same classroom under the same glaring florescent lights and in front of the same computer screen. Ugh. On the upside, I was glad to see familiar faces and be able to chat with classmates that I already knew (it didn't happen that way last semester). And, another upside is that a lot of my classroom will be less theoretical and more hands-on which I always favor. Plus, I will be building my portfolio for prospective employers.

I still haven't found a solution for the food problem that I've been so concerned about, but I'll keep you posted--lol.

Class Is Now In Session

My first day of class came and went rather smoothly, though there were a few surprises along the way:

*I did finish Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows after all! I stayed up way too late to do so, but it is finished! Yay, me!

*The bookstore failed to mention to me that they only hold the books they pull for you until 4 p.m. on the first day of class...which was yesterday. Grrrrr.... I calmly (while gritting my teeth) walked back out to my car and pulled my own books in less than three minutes, thank you very much! Luckily, there were plenty of used books left.

*Turns out, by enrolling in one of my classes, I automatically become a reporter for the campus newspaper...and by enrolling in another, I automatically become an editor for the campus newspaper!

*I actually had time to eat lunch (being that on the first day of class it is a cardinal sin to keep students for the entire hour and fifteen minutes). I didn't try the cafeteria, but the food court was actually good. We don't have any of those fancy franchises in our food court, but I was able to enjoy a nice grilled chicken sandwich nonetheless. Choices and flavors have vastly improved since my first go around in college world.

*There were a lot of "getting to know you" exercises today (especially given that my major is Mass Communication). I told a girl in my first class that I had been out of college for ten years now and that it made me feel old to say it. She said, "you don't look old at all!" You've earned some serious bonus points, Missy! In my last class, I had struck up a budding friendship with a gal who asked me "Are you living in the dorms or commuting?" Bless you! A thousand blessings upon you! I thought it was a wonderful way to start and end my day.

*There is a good chance that I might write myself into oblivion this semester. News writing should be fine, but Advanced Composition is questionable. Things I now have to add to my to-do list: write a 10 page research paper, a 15 page paper to submit to an academic journal & a 60 page book. On the upside: there's not a lot of reading involved.

On the Eve of Reentry

Tomorrow, I will be sitting in a desk for the first time in almost 10 years (well, at least a desk that is not exclusively my own).

I'll admit it: I have a few butterflies. I have also managed to give myself a headache. I originally wrote it off as a sinus problem but is more likely due to the list of incomplete projects I wanted to be finished by today.

One of my goals was to read the 6th (and final) Harry Potter book before school began (you know...my one last recreational read before the mandatory stuff is piled on). Having only purchased the book late on the 24th, I can be pretty proud that I've managed to sneak in about 500 of the 740-something pages, but I didn't meet my deadline. Oh well...surely we won't be covered in homework on the first day (will we?).

There's a whole slew of household projects left unfinished, not to mention time consuming projects like digitally designing my children's scrapbooks (covering the past 2 years...yeah, I'm a little behind).

I don't know why I insist on pushing myself to have every "i" dotted and every "t" crossed. It's not as if life ends tomorrow. Right???? RIGHT?????

"I Bet You'll Be The Oldest One in Your Class!"

"I bet you'll be the oldest one in your class," my sweet, eight year old daughter mentioned to me. She said it in a sort of "cool" tone as if being the oldest would actually be a good thing (I guess it is neat to be the oldest when you're in third grade). Bless her heart, she had no idea how often I've considered this possibility on my own already.

Actually, I doubt that I will be the oldest. According to some reports, adult learners are now becoming the majority on campus verses the traditional early 20's crowd. If I were still preparing to become a teacher, I think that I would be accompanied by a large amount of students older than myself, but now that I am a Mass Comm major..... who knows?

I'm not afraid of the college workload. I actually look forward to the challenge! I've always thrived in the classroom situation where I knew exactly what was expected of me and what was required in order to excel. The one thing that is constantly on my mind is how I perceived the older students in my classes when I was a 19/20 year old student.

I'll be honest: they were annoying. They answered all the questions and rambled on and on. It was as if they were trying hard to win the teacher's affection. I rolled my eyes many times when they began to speak in class. I would like to think that it was just the personalities of these particular adult students that I objected to (these women were apparently on the same track of classes as I was). Actually, I don't remember any other adult students who caused me to react in this manner.

Nonetheless, I think about my eye rolling and how I hoped not to get paired with the older students when we had group projects. I don't want to be on the receiving end of those kinds of feelings now that I'm the older student in class.

I wonder if I will try to restrain my natural inquisitiveness and desire to give my "two cents" during classroom discussion in fear of being labeled as one of the "old guys."

What was the real reason that I didn't want to be paired with the adults for group studies? Was it because they were stupid? Nope. It was because I knew they took class seriously, something I often did not. I was afraid they might actually want to meet after hours when all I wanted to do was to see my boyfriend or watch "Friends" on t.v. The real problem was that I wanted to do the bare minimum required of me.

So, I guess being labeled one of the "old guys" might not be too bad after all.

Who is "University Mama?"

Do you wanna hear the whole story?

I married while I was still a sophomore in college, but being the independent, strong-willed sort of female, I was determined to finish my studies nonetheless.

Life happens. My husband needed to jump-start his grad school studies so we moved to campus for a bit and I became the primary breadwinner for a year. When it was my turn to head back to school, I found out I was pregnant. Both my husband and I believed it was important for me to be a stay-at-home-mom when we had children, so we made a new plan: I would go back to college when all of our children were old enough to be attending school.

Turns out, this was a difficult plan for me to stick with. For several years, I felt that I had let myself and my dad down (I promised him that I would finish my degree since I was marrying so young). I also struggled because everyone I knew was defined by what they studied or what they did for a living and I felt left-out. I dabbled in a couple of internet classes along the way, but never jumped in whole-heartedly; I just didn't have the time or the energy (or the cash flow, to be honest). I did, however, start my own business later which did help with my mini identity crisis of sorts.

Looking back, I wouldn't change our "revised plan." I have enjoyed staying at home with my kiddos and I truly believe it has given them the best start they could have in life.

This fall I am enrolled full-time in a local unversity (by "local," I mean 60 miles away-yikes!) and I have changed my major from English Education to Mass Communications (something I never thought I would do). I'm nervous and excited as my class start date looms near.

I have created this blog to journal my experiences as an adult student retruning to the classroom after an almost 10 year absence. My hope is that other "univsersity Mamas" will join me on this adventure so that we can share our tips, stories, and frustrations and laugh together along the way!