Twas the Night Before Finals

It is the night before finals and I am staying up late studying. But I'm interrupting my regularly scheduled studying to bring you a poem I found in my filing cabinet that I had saved from my freshman year way-back-when. It's aptly titled "The Night Before Finals" (author unknown).

'Twas the night before finals,
And all through the college,
The students were praying,
For last minute knowledge.

Most were quite sleepy,
But none touched their beds,
While visions of essays
Danced in their heads.

Out of the taverns
A few were still drinking,
And hoping that liquor
Would loosen their thinking.

In my apartment,
I had been pacing,
And dreading exams,
I soon would be facing.

My roommate was speechless
Her nose in the books
And my comments to her
Drew unfriendly looks.

I drained all the coffee
And brewed a new pot,
No longer caring
That my nerves were shot.

I started at my notes,
But my thoughts were muddy,
My eyes were ablur,
I just couldn't study.

"Some pizza might help,"
I said with a shiver.
But each place I called
Refused to deliver.

I'd nearly concluded
That life was too cruel,
With futures depending
On grades had in school.

When all of the sudden,
Our door opened wide,
And Patron Saint Put It Off
Ambled inside.

His spirit was careless,
His manner was mellow,
A grin on his face as
He started to bellow:

"What kind of student
Would make such a fuss,
To toss back at teachers
What they tossed at us?"

"On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes!
On Last Year's Exams!
On Wingit and Slingit,
And Last Minute Crams!"

His message delivered,
He vanished from sight,
But we heard him laughing
Outside in the night.

"Your teachers have pegged you,
So just do your best.
Happy Finals to all,
And to all, a good test."