Today, my youngest daughter started kindergarten. I'm not really sad that she's in school (she's been in some sort of partial day school program for 3 years now), but I have become very anxious about my own future.
For 10 years, I have been a stay-at-home mom. I knew it was the right thing to do and I don't regret it one bit. My plan was to finish my college degree once my youngest started kindergarten, but opportunities and circumstances allowed me to start back a little earlier than I expected. All these years, I have never felt pressure to make career plans because I have known that "mommy" is my first and most important job. Now that both of my kiddos are in school full-time, I am beginning to panic about my future. My personality is such that I have to stay busy. The thought of roaming my empty house without a job makes me very anxious and nervous! While I am glad that I am finishing my degree, I now feel that I have put too much hope in it. I have found that college really does not prepare you for the working world all that much; it is simply "one of those things that you need to do."
Right now, I have no idea what the future brings. I don't feel as if my current job will be a long-term employment option and, as I have mentioned many times before, I live in an area that does not provide many opportunities in my desired field of work. And what is my desired field of work anyway? I still have questions about that, too!
On one hand, my daughter's kindergarten year has brought a whole world of new possibilities to me and on the other, it has brought a whole new level of fear and uncertainty.
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