Out of My Element (Or In It?)

Today I was a substitute teacher at our local school. I was actually kind of looking forward to the experience because I did a quick count and calculated that I had not subbed in close to 13 years. Yikes! It really only seems like yesterday!! I was interested in being in the school as a non-parent to see what things were like (perception is often different than reality). Also, I was considering part of a "trial run" on my part. I am so conflicted right now about whether to get my teacher certification after I graduate or actually work in the field of my degree.

Guess what? I left today feeling no more decisive.

I really like the community atmosphere of the school, but I also know that no school is without controversy at times and there's always difficult parents or students to throw into the mix.

I really like the feeling of helping a kid understand a concept. I had to help explain pronouns and antecedents to 7th graders today (despite the fact that I totally couldn't remember what an antecedent was and had to look it up!). I really liked how it felt when I could break it down so the kid could "get it."

However, I didn't like dealing with the kids who were constantly distracting others and not getting work done. I know part of this has to do with the fact that I am not really the authority as a sub, but it is frustrating nonetheless. I'm sure that there have to be some helpful classroom management skills out there that I could learn if I did decide to teach.

I really, really liked how quickly the day passed. There aren't too many jobs that are considered 8-3 (of course, few teachers actually leave at 3 and many end up working evenings and weekends), but no one would argue that it isn't a great job (time-wise) for a mom.

There are so many conflicting factors that both draw me to teaching and at the same time, make me want to run in the opposite direction. Plus, I've got to remember that I can't base the teaching profession on our small school--most schools aren't like ours.

I'm even more confused than ever before. Maybe I should move to a communist country where they can just assign me a job so I can get on with my life.


{just kiddin'}