Is Every Job Just "A Job?"

Throughout my life, it has been my goal to have a career, not a job...not just any career, but a career that made a difference. The young dreamer in me once aspired to be an astronaut complete with adventure and meaningful scientific research. I distinctly remember a night when I laid in my bedroom floor as a kid drawing a sketch of a large house filled with individual apartments--a homeless shelter for families (though I'm sure I had never seen a homeless person by that point in my young life). My high school teachers encouraged me to join their ranks. I thought that perhaps I might be able to inspire minds with creativity in the classroom or at least show love to a kid who might not get much at home. And, of course, I always desired to be a mother--the ultimate opportunity to make a difference in the world.

I became a mother, a teacher (though not in the education system), a sometimes adventurer, and do-gooder (though I have not built any homeless shelters in my time), but something has happened to my career ambitions in the year since I headed back to college. Suddenly, the idealism of my youth (and adulthood) has faded. Though my classes usually invigorate me with new excitement about what could be, suddenly every job--even the ones I long for--just seems like... a job.

It is often quoted, "find something you love to do and you will never have to work a day in your life." I totally believe this statement to be true because I there have been times when I was glad to work overtime or weekends or late nights because I was loving every minute of whatever it was that I was doing. I have always had one or two jobs floating around my head that I would love to try if given the opportunity, but lately, those things just seem unimportant or impractical or just another way to pass time. After all, I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who are living their dream job who watch the clock all day or live for the weekend. They go through the motions and get the work done, but it's still a job...a way to make money.

This new attitude of mine is disheartening. I wonder if it's fear talking. I am finally arriving at the jumping-off point of my life, the time I am supposed to swim confidently in the direction of my dreams. But leaving the familiar behind is difficult and filled with "what-ifs."

Still, I continue to wonder...are all jobs just "a job" in the end? Will I ever be able to turn off the alarm clock each morning without moaning and groaning because I am excited about the opportunities of a new day?

I hope.