Out of My Element

I'm not sure if it's being in a non-traditional classroom (ITV + internet) after getting used to a traditional class setting or just being in grad school or because I'm back in the education genre (almost everyone else in class has working experience in the field; I do not), or if it's just that we've only had one class day & I haven't gotten into the flow of things yet, but I feel a little bit like a fish out of water.

As an undergrad, I already had working experience in the areas I was studying, so I was confident. I feel a little intimidated by the many teachers who are in my classes. I guess I feel that I have nothing of value to offer despite the fact that most of them are newbies to the Library-Media world, too.

Luckily, I was chatting with my good friend online this morning and she said this:

"You'll get in the groove at school. That's exactly how I felt when I started, going into a new field that I didn't have as much knowledge about and everyone seemed to "know" more. In the end, I liked grad school much better than undergrad."

It's so good to have encouraging friends who have "been there, done that!"

I am a hard worker, so I have no doubt that I will do well. Okay, well maybe I have a little doubt, but at any rate I know I will survive. Everything happened so quickly, I kind of feel like I'm still caught in a whirlwind. Hopefully, things will settle down soon and I will get into a rhythm with schoolwork and better understand what is expected of me on a weekly basis.

Going to Grad School: The Backstory

I decided to go to grad school last Thursday. Classes began on Monday. How'd I manage that??

First of all, I had been encouraged by good friend (who is also a librarian) to consider Library-Media studies more seriously. She and I had discussed it in the past, though I had never really spent much time researching which universities offered Library-Media graduate studies. I began looking at our state schools just to see what was available. I also looked at one program--entirely online--that was out-of-state because I had a friend who was enrolled in it.

What really propelled me to start this semester instead of later was free tuition! I found out that one university had received a special grant to extend their library-media studies to the western part of our state (a.k.a "the boondocks"). The grant covers nine hours of graduate tuition! Awesome! The catch: students must come stay on-campus for three weeks during the summer term to take those 9 hours. On the upside, that's nine hours completed in three weeks...nine FREE hours I might add. Also, room, board and transportation are taken care of through the grant. Sweet! The downside, of course, is that I will have to be away from my family for three weeks. I will come home on the weekends, but I will be missing a lot of their summer activities and put extra strain on the husband who will have to juggle work and kids all on his own. Also, the campus is quite a drive--3 to 4 hours away--so there will be no quick trips home mid-week for anything. I keep telling myself that three weeks away from the family is a small price to pay in order to be on my kids' school schedules for the next 12 years of their lives.

When I actually started thinking, "I should do this....like, right now!" I had two pretty big hurdles: deadlines for enrollment were looming & I hadn't taken the GRE. Actually, the university that I am now enrolled in had started classes the day I called to talk to someone about the program. Talk about last-minute!

So, I quickly made the decision to give this a shot. I'm actually glad that there was a small window of opportunity to make that decision, otherwise I might have agonized over it for days. I started typing up applications, faxing unofficial transcripts, requesting official transcripts, e-mailing a trillion people for information, etc. Though I had once been an undergrad student at this particular university, it had been so long that I actually had to reapply for admission. That ended up holding things up a bit, but we finally got everything completed....yesterday (four school days after starting the process). I wasn't actually enrolled when I attended my first class. In fact, I paced the floor all day waiting impatiently to hear word whether or not I should drive to my ITV (interactive television) class. I had to leave by 3:30 to get there in time, and I finally heard back from the university somewhere around 2:30.

Luckily--VERY luckily--for me, this particular program didn't require the GRE for admission. God bless 'em.

I put out the admissions and enrollment fires, now I'm tending to the teacher certification fires! I'm getting a lot of different answers about whether or not I have to be certified before or after I complete the program and how I will go about certification. So now, I'm making tons of phone calls and e-mails to that end.

Maybe I should just be a firefighter instead!

And the Big News Is....

(drumroll please)

I'm STILL a University Mama!

That's right, I've decided to enroll in grad school! It has all happend in a whirlwind, last-minute kind of way. It's a story that I'll have to share tomorrow because class starts this evening and I have to leave soon!

And you thought it was the end of this blog....

Question Suggestions

Plenty of well-meaning folks who just want to congratulate me on my graduation and really don't know what else to say have been regurgitating the same blasted question: "What are you planning to do now?"

I don't know, already!!

First, I'm pretty agitated with myself that I don't know; I'm a "planner" and this is totally unlike me. Secondly, I'm actually in constant stress over this issue. Between racing thoughts and/or waves of sadness, I'm really struggling with big questions like, "What do I want to do?" and "Where do you see yourself in ten years?" or "What's most important in life."

So, yes--many thanks for all the well-wishers who are making me aware of my current state of limbo.

Maybe I should simply suggest a few new questions to ask me. How about:

1) Where did you get that lovely sweater? (What sweater?)
2) Are you enjoying this wonderful winter weather? (Absolutely not.)
3)Boxers or briefs? (Um...not sure how to answer that one...)
4) Do you prefer fried chicken or grilled chicken? (Fried, but we try to eat low carb meals.)
5) Are you excited that LOST will be back on January 21? (YES!!!!)
6) Why did the chicken cross the road? (To get to the other side. Really. True story.)
7) If a train leaves Point A traveling north at 45 mph into a 25 mph wind, how long will it take to reach Point B, 192 miles northeast of Point A? (I dunno...I haven't had a math class in ages and I wasn't any good back then, either!)
8) Are you going to enjoy not having to drive 120 miles to school each day? (Yes, very much. Thanks for asking.)
9) Would you like to use my vacation home in Hawaii for a couple of weeks, rent-free? (HECK YEAH!!! When can I leave?)
10) Junior Mints are quite refreshing, aren't they? (Yes, they really are.)

The Value of University Education...from the Wiz

This afternoon, as I was doing my homework while my daughter watched "The Wizard of Oz," I giggled when I overheard the scarecrow asking the Wizard for a brain. This is what he said:


"Why, anybody can have a brain. That's a very mediocre commodity. Every pusillanimous
creature that crawls on the Earth or slinks through slimy seas has a brain. Back where I
come from, we have universities, seats of great learning, where men go to become great
thinkers. And when they come out, they think deep thoughts and with no more brains than
you have! But they have one thing you haven't got - a diploma. Therefore, by virtue of the
authority vested in me by the Universitatus Committeatum E Pluribus Unum, I hereby
confer upon you the honorary degree of Th. D...that's Doctor of Thinkology." *


Good news for those who are worried that you don't have what it takes to get a college education: according to the Wiz, you don't have to be a brainiac....just learn how to think deep thoughts and you, too, can have a diploma!!


*Special thanks to www.filmsite.org for posting excerpts from the script...because, even though I'm getting a diploma soon, I had no idea how to spell "pusillanimous!"

To Facebook or Not to Facebook?

That's the question...anyone have the answer?

The dilemma: how to keep up with fellow students after college.

Anyone in the working world knows that networking is very important. What if the guy that sits next to you in Biology finds a cure for cancer? What if a girl from your group project someday owns her own company...that you want to work for? How do you stay in touch with these people who are chock full of potential? On top of that, it might be nice just to stay in touch with people that have become your friends, right?

Facebook is the obvious answer. Every single college student in my class has a Facebook page. Everyone. I know MySpace is popular in other areas, but in my neck of the woods, Facebook reigns supreme.

The simple answer would seem to be: get a Facebook account. Actually, I have one, but have never set up a page (I did it once just to see what "Facebook" actually was). But, it's not so simple after all.

One, I don't know how I feel about 30-somethings and older being on social networking sites. I know...that sounds biased, but it all started when I overheard a 45-year-old mom of a teenager telling a friend that she was going to post some pictures of an event on her MySpace page. It just sounded...weird. Really? You have a MySpace page??

Two, do I really need another giant time waster? Blogs and email and texting and forums...these things eat my time already.

The only thing I can figure out is to ask for e-mail addresses the old fashioned way (nevermind that the "old fashioned way" when I was in school was to get someone's permanent address). But, e-mails often changed or don't get checked (especially if you're busy on Facebook--lol!).

I don't know....what's your plan to stay in touch? Or do you even plan to stay in touch with your classmates?

Is Every Job Just "A Job?"

Throughout my life, it has been my goal to have a career, not a job...not just any career, but a career that made a difference. The young dreamer in me once aspired to be an astronaut complete with adventure and meaningful scientific research. I distinctly remember a night when I laid in my bedroom floor as a kid drawing a sketch of a large house filled with individual apartments--a homeless shelter for families (though I'm sure I had never seen a homeless person by that point in my young life). My high school teachers encouraged me to join their ranks. I thought that perhaps I might be able to inspire minds with creativity in the classroom or at least show love to a kid who might not get much at home. And, of course, I always desired to be a mother--the ultimate opportunity to make a difference in the world.

I became a mother, a teacher (though not in the education system), a sometimes adventurer, and do-gooder (though I have not built any homeless shelters in my time), but something has happened to my career ambitions in the year since I headed back to college. Suddenly, the idealism of my youth (and adulthood) has faded. Though my classes usually invigorate me with new excitement about what could be, suddenly every job--even the ones I long for--just seems like... a job.

It is often quoted, "find something you love to do and you will never have to work a day in your life." I totally believe this statement to be true because I there have been times when I was glad to work overtime or weekends or late nights because I was loving every minute of whatever it was that I was doing. I have always had one or two jobs floating around my head that I would love to try if given the opportunity, but lately, those things just seem unimportant or impractical or just another way to pass time. After all, I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who are living their dream job who watch the clock all day or live for the weekend. They go through the motions and get the work done, but it's still a job...a way to make money.

This new attitude of mine is disheartening. I wonder if it's fear talking. I am finally arriving at the jumping-off point of my life, the time I am supposed to swim confidently in the direction of my dreams. But leaving the familiar behind is difficult and filled with "what-ifs."

Still, I continue to wonder...are all jobs just "a job" in the end? Will I ever be able to turn off the alarm clock each morning without moaning and groaning because I am excited about the opportunities of a new day?

I hope.